Karisha Jade

When it comes to maintaining healthy relationships, finding a balance between independence and spending a time together is of high importance. It’s completely natural to feel comfortable in your partner for emotional support and general time spending. However, there’s a line that you just simply can’t cross, and becoming overly needy or overly dependent tends to be a common cause for failed relationships. So what is considered as dependence and what can I do to resolve this?

Being overly dependent is described as: “excessively dependent on another for support or assistance” meaning that there’s no longer a balanced relationship and one feels pressured to perform under unrealistic expectations. At the end of the day, a single person can’t be the source to your emotional fulfilment, and if it is, then you must work harder to find out who YOU are. I understand that it’s easy to fall into the trap of security and routines, but have you ever thought about how mundane and tasking it can be for your partner? For example, a girl I knew during university used to start a massive argument every time that her boyfriend wanted to go out with his friends. Why she felt the need to rule over his social life and resent people he likes was completely beyond me. And a person who breeds jealousy or resentment for your interests or social life are excessively toxic to you.

Here’s some pointers I thought I’d share for you in case you’re curious on what dependency looks like and how to improve it:

1. Develop your own social life: Pursue activities or groups that interest you, reconnect with old friends, or explore new hobbies. By building your own social network, you can cultivate a sense of independence that can enrich your relationship. No longer will you start a fight each time a social event occurs!
2. Pursue your own interests: Whether it’s reading, cooking, hiking, or writing, make time for activities that fulfill you outside of the relationship. This will give you a sense of purpose and identity that is attractive to your partner.
3. Communicate openly: If you find yourself becoming overly reliant on your partner, communicate your feelings to them. Explain that you value the relationship but want to maintain independence and personal growth.
4. Prioritise self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental health is vital for personal growth and independence. Make sure to prioritise activities that promote healthy living, such as regular exercise, healthy eating habits, and relaxation.

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