Karisha Jade

Growing up as an Indian-born child in England was not always easy, I often felt caught between two worlds. In addition to the challenges of fitting in and finding my place in a predominantly white society, I also had to navigate the complexities of living in two different cultures. I wanted nothing more than to fit in and live how I am now: unrestrained and proud of my cultural background.

One of the most difficult aspects of my childhood was dealing with racism in school. As a child of color in a predominantly white school, I often felt out of place and like I didn’t belong. Kids can be cruel, and I was the target of many racist comments and jokes. Some of which involved boys drawing red dots on their heads and re-enacting cultural and sometimes religious dances. Sometimes it was a barricade of questions in regards to who I’ve been forced to marry and questions about my body which left me feeling undoubtably uncomfortable and embarrassed. It was hard to deal with, and it took a toll on my self-esteem.

I remember feeling like I had to choose between being true to myself and fitting in with my peers. It was a difficult decision to make, and I often felt like I was walking a tightrope. I tried to find a balance between embracing my Indian heritage and assimilating to the culture of my peers, but it was a constant struggle. Being targeted day in-day out has eventually took its toll and I became ashamed of everything I was. My cultural background, my family, the food I brought for lunch and the most heartbreaking- my skin colour. In an attempt to feel like I belonged, I desperately turned to social conformity and dressed like a goth, listened to music I didn’t like and found myself in groups that would continue to mock “people like you”. People like me you say? What does that mean exactly? It meant that they didn’t necessarily have a problem with me because they changed everything about me and my identity. They referred to people of my culture who remained untainted to their discrimination. It made me sick to feel so fake, but even if it was to stop the fingers pointing at me and to stop the barricade of inappropriate questions, I was okay with it. Some may even ask me why I never spoke up as it was clear harassment. Is it ever easy to talk to adults who have never experienced what you’re going through? Is it ever easy to specifically point out each and every racist act without seeming petty?

The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before

Albert Einstein

As I got older, I learned to embrace my differences and to be proud of my heritage. I realized that being different was something to be celebrated, not something to be ashamed of. And I learned to stand up for myself and to speak out against racism and discrimination whenever I saw it. Going to university was one of the most eye- opening experiences for me. No longer was I ashamed of who I was, people around me wanted to know more about my cultural background and loved to learn, eat and experience everything I had to share!

Looking back on my childhood, I can see that although it was difficult at times, it also made me a stronger and more resilient person. And I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others who may be struggling with similar issues to find the strength and confidence to be true to themselves.

If you enjoyed reading this post, don’t forget to leave a comment and follow my page on Instagram @karishajadex for more!